Awareness..

I think I am beginning to become aware of the break down of a person when someone begins to take on something of this magnitude. The emotional stability inside oneself is lost at a point. The reconstruction of a human being beings at this point. This point of two months in, a year out. This place where it is time for change, the place where security is present, but comfort is a distant foggy figure. Things in my life that were simple, things in my mind, in my thoughts that were easily manageable that remained the same on one side of the world, have become distorted on this side. The struggle of growing into enlightenment when the rest of my world that I'm so heavily connected to remains where I left them, enlightened by other factors. This change which is happening with fluidity has left me lost at sea at times. This place, this wonderful place with it's wonderful people, as beautiful as it may be has begun reaching the core of me. The awareness of purpose, the awareness of a change within myself has reached me and forced a beginning of growth inside me. A growth that old mindsets, old understandings, old comforts cannot reach. In this middle place, in this transition how do I face what I so naturally knew to be my way of reaction? How do I balance? How do I control who I was and who I'm becoming? No easy answers approach these rhetorical questions. Thus, Sunday begins...