Friday, January 30, 2009


So yesterday I was immensely bored and complained about it to anyone who would listen. Wally decided to do something about those complaints and gave me a list of things to do today. Writing a new blog was one of the things, two other things were "Go for a walk" and "take some pictures" So I'm going to kill Three birds w/ one stone and I went for a walk and took pictures and now I'm going to post them as my blog entry. 
The list was a wonderful addition to my day. It forced me to get up and move around and do things so thanks Wally.
Here's what I saw on my walk:




pretty mural 



This sign confused me, What's w/ the bird and the letter? Why is the umbrella different? Why is there a Dr. Next to a phone, then a phone by itself? 

Old men playing croquet

Important information.

"I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go..I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you"
 - Genesis 28: 15

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


Recently I have spent a lot of time in thought and discussion with the way God effects our lives. Discussions with others about who Christ calls us to be and how we should perceive doctrine. I feel like these moments are the true moments of life. I feel as if in all these instances there have been points where my words have left me and Christ has spoken through me. These moments in silence are where the spirt blows over me like wind.
I spoke recently to someone about how God called me to China. The best way I could find to explain this was water. Sometimes water comes in so slowly, small audibly noticeable drops, or constant streams, floods. Water effects everything, every part through movement, physical change, or any other number of ways. For me China was like a small drop of water, a constant reminder that I was to move for the spirit when the time was ready. Something I was always aware of but had to wait for it to overtake everything before I could release. Years I was effected by this small drip, this acknowledgement of coming change until one day the flood rushed in. No longer was I able to ignore this change, this movement. God flooded in rapidly and effected every part. Maybe this is cliche maybe it's absurd for me to compare a movement that so far has been slightly small to a flood. Maybe the change was me, maybe the flood effected me and brought me here to change me and mold me to prepare me for bigger callings. Possibly not bigger, but different. More difficult moves, more nights alone in foreign places. Difficult explanations to the people I love that I cannot refuse this call and prayers for them to understand something I have no way of accurately describing. This is the most challenging of everything for me now. I have accepted that the Lord may continue to call me to go in his name to every corner of the Earth, or that he has called me to be here in this place in this time for longer than previously anticipated. How can I expect the ones that love me the most to fully understand that movement of heart? I cannot. That is too much to expect for people to hear and feel the water that pours though me. 
Recently John and I did a devotional about this exact thing. "God providentially weaves the threads of His call through our lives, and only we can distinguish them. It is the threading of God's voice directly to us over a certain concern, and it is useless to seek another person's opinion of it." - Chambers. 
"But when God, called me by his grace, I did not consult any man." -Gal. 1:15-16 

It is all in a higher plan that we must follow and it some instances means that we must disregard the emotional connections we have to this world.


After saying goodbye to John in Beijing I depressingly put myself on a plane and flew up to Hailar. My intentions were to go help at Shamineau again. They run a two week winter camp for kids during their winter break. Turns out Inner Mongolia... way cold. Who knew!? So the first week I was there I prepared all the activities for the camp that later we discovered, would not be happening due to lack of campers. I stayed in Hailar for three weeks anyway. A majority of the time I spent at Jessy's where I watched TV online, emailed Rufio crazy long emails, IMed Wally, and talked to John on the phone. Busy Busy Busy! However in the process of all that business I learned to cook some Chinese dishes, learned to crochet, attempted and failed at making my own skirt, and took a short trip out to the camp. The trip to camp was amazing. It is beautiful out there as always. I have never seen a place that looked so vastly different by the season it was in. As different as this place seemed this trip around it was still just as breathtakingly beautiful as it had been before. This sense of smallness, that always overtakes me when I'm at this place was overwhelming this time. Seeing the earth blanketed in gleaming white snow creating this congruency of newness. What a blessing to witness this first hand. Aside from just being there we all took rides on the camel drawn sleigh. Which was crazy fun and crazy cold! Jessy and I both thought our toes were going to fall off, but what are a few toes when you think about having the experience of a camel sleigh through the grasslands really?!? Priorities people! haha
I came back to Changzhi last week. All the students have gone home for the spring festival. Campus is really quiet and the market is closed so I've been forced to cook everyday at home. Which I'm so great at let me tell you! wait... thats not true at all. I did make some peanut butter cookies that turned out pretty good last week however PB is in short supply here so I probably won't make those too often. 
Chinese new year was this past weekend. I spent it at Hellena's ho
me with her family. I had a great time! It was very similar to our Christmas. I learned to play Mai Jong and we shot off fireworks at midnight.. along with 1.3 billion other people. The next day we went to her sisters home where we ate a nice lunch with her whole family and I spent the afternoon w/ her nephew Jackie who speaks fluent English. He's very kind just like Hellena so I was happy to be in their presence. 

Today I went shopping with Sue, her boyfriend, and his friend Ken who are all from Kenya. We got suckered into singing Karaoke in the middle of this huge shopping center. You can't get the true China experience w/o KTV haha We sang "Right here waiting". Good times, then I got yelled at by a worker for trying to carry my shopping bag into the grocery store. Less good times. We walked home together because it wasn't so cold and they taught me some Swahili which turns out is much easier than Chinese. Bring it on Kenya! Here I come;-) haha 
All the lands are at rest and at peace; they break into singing. 
- Isaiah 14:7

Sunday, January 11, 2009

June 9th Journal Entry

Dusk to Dusk I rest alone
Lost in fleeting thought
Transpiring to prayer
'Oh my King where do you lead me?
No longer waiting on your calling
Embracing your guidance
Following your will to go
Oh my King how heavy your name sits on my heart
How worthless I feel
to be called to it.
My king you chose me and I you.
Never alone again will my thoughts rest.
Never alone will my pains fall on empty ears.
Never alone will I ever be
for I carry the love of MY King with me.
Oh my King I will never forget 
what pain my salvation brought you.
Never will I forget the day you called me child
and spilt your precious blood for my empty soul.
What can I do to repay this gift?
What can I do but go and live and breath
Exactly where you send me.
Send me by sea or by air or by foot and I will go.
Train my ears to hear your pleas.
Train my eyes to see the needs.
These needs you built my heart to reach.
Train me now my King.
For your battle alone.
Train my soul's blood to be spread in your name.
Mine, that would NEVER reach the price of yours.
Yet still let it be opened by your love
to speak to those who need to hear.
Be with me now and always