All that being said I feel like this change in many ways is unknown to me. I feel that I live my life of normalcy, as normal as a foreigner can be in a land so vastly different from their own. I work, I study, I read, I spend time with my friends. All the while becoming increasingly tired. Maybe this feeling is coming from the Lord trying to tell me to slow down. Maybe I'm missing something. Something I can only learn while here, in this place. Maybe I am too focused on my life of increasing monotony and I'm overlooking moments of extraordinary influence. I am on the downward slope of my time in Changzhi and I find myself more unsettled about leaving this place than I was with coming here to begin with. Why is that? Maybe coming to that understanding, or the realization that question even exists is the reason for my exhaustion. Maybe my body had to rest in order for my mind to become clear enough to ask these questions.
"By waiting and calm, you shall be saved. In quiet and trust lies your strength."
~ Henri Nouwen